“We must take a three-day journey into the wilderness to offer sacrifices the Lord our God, as he commands us.”

Exodus 8:27 NIV

A Christian retreat is always a treat; it’s a time where people come together under God for the weekend, get to know each other, share the love of God as well as to have fun. Retreats has always been special for me because the very first one was significant to me in my faith journey.

The first retreat I went on was in November 2021, I went with the ministry group at Portland State to Lakeview in Auburn WA, a good 3-4 hour drive. I knew I was expecting a fun time, but I didn’t know that I will experience the Holy Spirit during our first service of the retreat and hear the booming voice of God the follow night on the way to the chapel for a night service. The second one, a year later and same place, finding positivity during the dark times, especially when a month prior I was fired from my job. But this retreat is different.

The last 2 retreats were with my ministry, whom I lost an affiliation with over the months, and the third retreat was with my church. Garden Church is a small baptist in Downtown Portland, about 20 people in attendance, and it is the only church I’ve been affiliated with since before I was born-again in 2021. And ever since I’ve been apart of it, I’ve been involved in everything they offered and I am truly blessed to call them family. When they announced their first retreat, I knew right then and there that I was going to go. I registered, payed the $100, put in my PTO slip at my new and current job, got accepted, and off I go!

Day 1

I woke up with sneezes, in which got worse throughout the morning. But eventually I did get some stuff done before I met up with my carpool team. I returned some work pants that don’t fit me, got my medications needed for maintaining my mental health, got some laundry done but not all, and packed everything needed for the trip. When I left, I thought I’d miss the max to our meetup place, the church. I was early but when Faith rolled right up, we loaded the car and we were off.

We left at around 3:30 pm, right at the rush hour. But we don’t need to check in until between 5-7 pm so we got time. During the drive, I listened to a podcast, in which was really funny that I’m sure that everyone in the front was wondering what I was laughing about. When I was done with that, I got back into the script I was working on for a baby director. I was only half way in and want to be done within the next month, I hope I get the right motivation to do it.

When we got there, it was very different. At Lakeview, it was in the woods, with a lake next to it and the acreage was small but not too small, it was enough land to get aquatinted within a day. At Aldersgate, it is HUGE! Lots of acreage and I’ve only explored a fraction of it and it’s located in the fields of Turner. Lakeview has some Christian decor or even just one, which is located in the chapel. Aldersgate has Christian decor in every corner with verses on the walls, Christian-related words like “love Jesus as much as you love your coffee”. Lakeview feels more like a camp in the woods while Aldersgate really does feel like a Christian retreat. Unlike Lakeview where I’d share a room with 8-12 other girls, sleeping in bunks, at Aldersgate I share a room with Faith and Emma. I slept in a double bed, Faith slept in a single bed, and Emma slept in a bunk above Faith. At Lakeview, you have to bring everything; clothes, toiletries, bedding, shower stuff, towels, you’re almost like roughing it. At Aldersgate, all you need to bring are clothes and toiletries.

After getting settled in, I decided I want to checkout some nearby attractions such as the playground, gaga ball pit, etc. In the playground, there’s a merry-go-round. In my hometown of Bend, there were no merry-go-rounds so this one is interesting, new, and different. When Faith said, “hey wanna go on it,” I was like “sure.” It was very fun and almost fell off. While swinging on the swing, Rachel was being crazy and brave on the merry-go-round. What am I doing on the playground? I’m a freaking adult, I thought.

For our first sermon, we talked out spiritual discipline. Why does discipline have to do with our topic Cultivating Joy? I am not 100% sure. But we did activities and group discussions; I am not always the best at group discussions but I was very much involved in it. As for the first challenge, it was announced that we’d be on a fast from the end of the sermon to breakfast…FROM OUR PHONES. What?! As for fasting, I approach it as a personal choice but this one, I knew I’m not going to be apart of it. And I didn’t. After reading my bible, using the audio from the YouVersion app, I went to sleep using a soundscape from my phone. But yeah, I was really tired.

Day 2

I slept ok, It was hot in the room. It was my fault because I did turn on the heater, thinking it would automatically turn off but it didn’t. So Faith, maybe Emma, and I were toasting all night long.

For our morning sermon, we learned about inner discipline, meaning bible study, prayer, and fasting. As for fasting, I only fast for food and it slowly became a natural thing for me during the pandemic to not eat breakfast at home and enjoy my cuppa tea or coffee in the morning. Prayer is something I constantly forget to do on a daily basis, but when I do pray, I pray for the residents I work with, my partner Brennan, and other things that would’ve popped in my head or have been happening during that time. Study is something I have had tossed around in regards to the term of it. When I say “study”, it’s reading the Bible for 15 minutes a night and understanding what I’m reading. When I read the book of Job, I really did not understand what this bicker was about, but knew that it’s about his inner battle with God. The second time, you see more of that battle of how Job says in detail and in a type of parable about how God is against him and wants him down and his buddies were not helping him. The breakthrough was of this young fellow saying “you’re wrong about everything, here’s what God is really here for”. That’s the greatest thing about the Bible, the more times you read it, the better you understand the context.

After lunch, we did the amazing race Garden Church version, where we had to complete a series of challenges. Personally, I am never a big fan of these group exercises. Every time I think of those, it reminds me of the group exercises I did with my 6th grade class where they left me behind. It not only scarred me but also my parents. But what doesn’t help was that by that time, I was crashing and ready to take a nap and easily agitated. As awards go, my team won most amount of group pictures taken and we get to chose our reward, I chose a Starbucks gift card because, Starbucks. After getting the awards, I immediately took a B line to my room and took a well deserved nap.

Jenell woke me up saying that dinner is ready. It was good! At least it wasn’t making me gassy like with today’s lunch. For tonight’s sermon, we talked about external discipline; which includes simplicity, solitude, submission, and service. Service is a big one that I do for Christ and Christ alone, especially serving my community, the deaf community, at work and knowing that Jesus is behind everything I do at work. Solitude is something that I do every day. Yes, it’s easy to look at me and say that I am extroverted, but in reality, I am ambiverted meaning I like engaging with people and enjoy my alone time. In regards to solitude with the Almighty, it only happens when either I need help or God is trying to reach out to me, and that only happens when I’m in a quiet place all by myself. Simplicity is something I secretly wished for, especially when my hormones go crazy. I guess the best way to simplify my life is to have a set schedule, but again, a simple life is like finding an oasis in the middle of the Sahara. submission is something that I’ve been working on slowly but surely. I’ve been a control freak for a long time, kudos to mom showing an example that you can control everything at a young age, so surrendering that desire to control everything is a lot, especially to God when, from time to time, forget that he’s in charge.

During the sermon, I was about to fall asleep and was not paying attention to the notes at all. During worship, I was sitting instead of standing, instead of singing I was mumbling the songs. Throughout the whole sermon, I couldn’t help but wonder when it’ll be over so I can head back to the room and relax. As I finished a good part of this blog, a part of me wants o get out of the room for a bit and make my weekend worthwhile. When I entered the fireside room, Rachel, Daniel, and a few other members of worship were playing and singing worship in a jig vibe. Very upbeat and a rhythm to where I want to dance to. And it was definitely worthwhile! By 11 o’clock pm, I was sound asleep.

Day 3

Didn’t sleep well at first; I was so hot that I was sweating. And I didn’t even turn on and left the heater on! But after a hearty breakfast, I got ready for our last sermon of the trip.

The sermon talks about simplicity, worship, guidance, and celebration; a great topic to wrap up this weekend. Simplicity is something I’ve always looked for when I, myself as a woman in the 21st century, struggled with in this life. The only thing I could think of in regards to simplifying my life is having a steady routine but to this point, I have no idea. Worship is all about praising God, whether through music or prayer. I do worship subconsciously or unconsciously, either it’s just listening to the Jeremy Camp radio on Pandora or sharing my faith to my coworkers. Guidance is something I always seek, especially going into this new chapter in life. Sometimes, I would be like Solomon, seeking God for wisdom and direction, and other times, I’d be like Asa, seeking the help of others instead of God. Celebration is what we Wangler’s do! No matter how big or small, whether it’s getting an A at the end of the term or graduation, we always celebrated something. It doesn’t normally have to be extravagant, it can be something small like ordering Grubhub for dinner.

Unlike the other sermons, this one was an hour long because we had to pack up and check out by 11am. Unlike at Lakeview, room cleanup was very simple. Instead of having to vacuum and taking out trash and everything, all we need to do is strip the bed and put the bed linens in one pile and dirty towels in another. Luckily by the time noon rolls around, I am safely home with a cat who didn’t recognized me at first, but after smelling my hand she’s all over me.

The big question is what did I take away from this trip? Basically, this for me is a checkpoint of where I am in my faith journey. I have my community, I enjoy certain festivities, but I’m still new to it. It’s hard to say it because I was hoping I would be a little bit more upwards than that but I have to give myself some grace. Alot of my brothers and sisters grew up in the religion while I knew about certain things, I grew up being absorbed but never with it. A good verse in which I follow by in my special and interesting faith journey is this:

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old is gone, the new is here!”

2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV

This is a solid reminder that I am still new and I am still learning and everyone has a very way to approach it. Some would be filled with the Holy Spirit to where they’d get down on their knees, hands lifted high and praising God during worship. Some would have a descent about to where their palm are up to Jesus and dance with the Lord during worship. The Holy Spirit works differently with every one of the Father’s children. But we are all connected because we are made in his image.